Sample discussion from the Parents Conference

We've never gotten around to starting our son on an allowance. He's 6 1/2 now and it seems like it's time (or maybe past time); most of his friends seem to get allowances.

So we're debating questions like: How much? How often? Should it be tied to household chores or just given unconditionally? Should we enforce a savings plan?

I'd like to hear how other parents have handled these issues, and what the results have been.

We started our kids out on allowances when they were just a bit younger. I think Caitlin got 50¢ when she was 4 and was up to about $1.00 by the time she was 6 1/2. Our allowances are paid once a week and are not tied to household work. That work is considered part of being a member of the family. We buy food, clothing and shelter 'in exchange' for household chores. Allowance is money that our children control to give them some experience with money.

That's a fabulous approach, Erik! Kinda drifting, but I don't give my daughter clothing as a gift, either, because I owe her clothing as her mom. We also approach the chores thing with "hey, you live here, too" kind of attitude.

I know what you mean Connie. My thirteen year old just walked into the room and said " Hi Mr. Riese, can I have my allowance?" Well, she wasn't quite so articulate, she really said "Hi Mr. Riese cn a ave my llowance?" But, the reason I wanted to post was that I don't want to leave the impression that we require household chores in exchange for all the necessities of life. We require them because to work of our family is shared even if Mary and I do most of it!

Maybe she should remember to say "please" and "thank you" in there, too. Another thing I'm rather obsessive about. The kids I work with have come to learn that they're different from their peers because they are more polite; a strict requirement of mine. I've also taught them to be good tippers and to address service people by their names, if they have on a name badge. They're amazed at the results! Not bad life lessons although pretty basic.

Instead of giving my daughter an allowance (just because I never was consistent enough with remembering to), I just gave her money when she needed it and within reason. Although right now I've cut her off because she lost her job a coupla months ago and has made very little efforts to get a new one.

We give our daughter, who's ten, a $2/week allowance. We've always been on the cheap side, since many of her friends get at least $5. We don't tie her allowance to chores, but she did start getting it at the same time as we set her up with specific chores she was required to do. (And, boy, is it tough sometimes to get her to follow through.) One thing we do that I like, however, is require her to save half of her money until she reaches a certain amount. When her allowance was only $1, she had to save 50 cents a week until she had $10 - then it was hers to use or bank. Now that she gets $2, she saves $1 a week until she has $20 dollars, then it's hers for whatever. If allowances are pilfered away on pkgs of gum, etc, as fast as it comes in, the child never has money for "real" purchases. This way, tho, she has had cash to buy herself a few beanie babies, went in halves on a boom-box she wanted, etc. I hope she will learn, in the long run, to do the saving on her own.

This sounds really good to me Patricia. I will tell my kids about this. My 10 year old, who gets $4.00 per week, is the better saver than my 13 year old. There is no restriction on what they do with the money, but they are encouraged to save for larger purchases. When they find things that want they both seem able to save for several weeks and months if need be!

We have struggled with allowance for a long time. I have 2 boys, ages 12 1/2 and 11. (The 1/2 is sooo important) During the school year, they are required to keep their rooms clean and get reasonably decent grades. In the summer, the workload increases considerably.

Well, I give $10 if conditions are met. That may sound like a lot, but the funny thing is, I so RARELY have to pay it! I know this sounds wierd, but if their rooms aren't clean, I close the doors. I have more distressing things to worry about than nagging. (Not that I DON'T nag about other things) If they don't want it bad enough to clean up, so be it. During the summer I am more adament. I have Fridays off from my house cleaning service. Obviously, I don't want to spend my day off cleaning MY house, so on Thursdays, I leave a very detailed list of complete cleaning chores. If the house is clean, I am a very happy person and we do something fun, preferably free, on Friday. I am rigid about everything having to be done on time though. It's a contract. Bust it and you don't get your reward, including allowance.

I also insist on them saving 1/2 of the allowance for a month. I tell them to write down any items they want to buy and if they still want it at the end of the month, then have at it.

I guess it sounds like I don't quite have a grasp on this issue. That's true enough.

I think an allowance is OK if the focus is on money management as opposed to a reward for doing a necessary household chore. I like the earlier mentioned concepts of saving half to a certain amount then getting something they really want. This fosters the goal-setting concept many of us (like me, for instance) were not taught.

Yes, I think that tying an allowance to chores is like paying a kid to do something that they should be doing just because they're part of the family.

Our children get an allowance of $5/week, unrelated to household chores. However, we require them to save half of it. The other half is theirs to do with as they wish--they do not need our approval to spend it--mostly. Of course that is different than receiving permission to do something in particular.

I am not a fan of requiring a child to save part of their allowance. Why not just save it for them if that is what you want done with the money? When I give out allowances my daughters, ages 13 and ten, sometimes save and sometimes spend. My son who is two & a half doesn't really get what is happening and he saves every quarter he gets. When the two year old has all the money the girls see the advantages of saving.

Once I give out allowance it is theirs to do with as they like. If there are strings attached then it isn't really theirs. We encourage saving and opened a savings account at the bank for each child.

OK, here's my allowance story.

When I was about 10 yrs. old, my parents instituted a 50 cents/week (or /month, i don't remember) allowance for each of us 5 kids. For a few weeks/months it was ok. Then, there was this craze of tiny superballs that were in the gumball machines. Every other kid in 4th grade had them. I had to have one too, of course. So I cashed my 50 cents into 50 pennies, went to the nearest gumball machine, and proceeded to buy 50 gumballs, since there was probably less than 1 superball per 100 gumballs. Depressed, I brought my bag of 50 gumballs to Cooperstown Elementray School (North Dakota) and for some solace, proceeded to chew them--which was against the rules, and I got caught twice and was sent to the principal's office. Moral of the story: Having an allowance taught me the evils of gambling. To this day, I won't buy a lottery ticket, try to win a teddy bear with the ring toss at the state faire, or put a quarter in the slots at the Las Vegas airport when waiting for a connecting flight to Seattle.